Personal Query #2

Am I striving to develop my physical, mental, and spiritual abilities and to use them to the glory of God? What have I recently undertaken to this end, and what future opportunities are sought?
My body is weak and it limits me. I tire easily and do not have the energy to do the volunteer work I would like to do. I am frequently ill and it takes me a while to recover from the mildest of infections. I know that part of this is a result of my being out of shape and part of it is physical symptoms of my mental illness. I have recently joined a gym and hope to make a habit of going regularly.

With regard to my mental abilities, I think I do all right. I read books that challenge me intellectually, both religious and secular. I have recently changed jobs to one that is far more intellectually stimulating. I'm aware that keeping my mind sharp and engaged, especially with a willingness engage in matters theological and sociological is an important part of being able to properly interpret my leadings.

I am anxious about developing my budding spiritual abilities. The only one I can think of at the moment is giving ministry, and I hate it. I hate hate hate hate speaking in meeting. I've gotten much better at standing up quickly and not dissociating nearly as much while I speak, but I still hate it. I really need to work on that part, I guess. I also worry about developing an ego with regard to giving ministry. It is important for me to remember that when I am speaking, I am speaking what the Lord would have me say. There is no pride to be had in being a vessel.

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